how do flat chested girls get laid?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
