please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
