You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
