I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
