He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
