just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
