How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
