Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
