well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
