She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
