he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Sext me about skeletons
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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