God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
