Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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