Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
