I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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