So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
