her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
