So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
