ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize