im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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