Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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