YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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