made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
