Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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