I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
