If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
