oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
