Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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