the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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