I wish I could punch you in the face.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
