I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
