never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
