some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
