Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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