Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he was CRYING into my vagina
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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