You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
