how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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