This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize