I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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