you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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