Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize