I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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