Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
