Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
