A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
