I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
