Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
