yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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