mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Randomize
