so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
