these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
