I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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