wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
