any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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