I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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