Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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