I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
