i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
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