theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
