I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize