she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
