Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize