i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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