Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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