ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
not ubering you a puppy
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
